As Sweet As Honey
by Starisha23
Summary: This will just be some fluffy one-shots/drabbles. It is VALDUGGERY and there will also be some hints of GANITH. hope you enjoy. Rating may change to M
1. Chapter 1: Bum-Bum's

**As Sweet As Honey.**

**Hello! Well this is my first fanfic on Skulduggery more importantly Valduggery, I completely ship them! Well this will be lots of short drabbles about them and their will have some Ganith. Xx**

**Some chapters they will be together others they will end up being together and some others will just be stupid fluff!**

**Disclaim: I do NOT own Skulduggery *Breaks down crying***

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><p><strong>1: Bum-Bum's<strong>

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><p>It was a normal day in the town of Haggard, the terrible weather was just a perk. As rain fell from the dark skies and thunder boomed there was another storm down on the ground.<p>

"SKUL!" Came a high pitch scream from Valkyrie's room. It was a rainy Saturday and the duet had no missions, so, they were left bored to death.

"Yes, you called?" Came the velvet voice of Skulduggery. What he saw when he walked in terrified him. Valkyrie was standing in front of a floor length mirror hand on her butt.

"Skul, do you think these jeans make my butt look big?" She asked squishing her ass. If Skulduggery had eye brows, they would have been half way up his forehead.

"Do you want the truth or a lie to make you feel better?" He asked

"The truth!" she said still palming her ass, watching it jiggle in the mirror

"It looks absolutely huge."

"Skul that's not helping." She sobbed. He shrugged.

"What? You asked for the truth."

"I know but you could have lied!"

"What lie to my big ass partner." He said chuckling to himself.

"Skul! You not helping!"

"So what if you have a big ass?" He said seductively. "I've always loved a girl with a huge ass." She raised one finely shaped eyebrow at him.

"What like china?"

"No, China may be beautiful but her ass is as flat as a cutting board." Val snorted with laughter.

"Don't you think that's a bit harsh?"

"Not at all, it's simply the truth." He said as he made his way over to her. He stood next to her fixing his tie in the mirror.

"You're so vain you know that." She said as she went to sit on the bed crossing her legs.

"One as handsome as myself must."

"Your ego is huge."

"Not as huge as your butt."

"Ahhhh!" she buried her face in her pillow to hide her Carmine blush. "Your never gonna' let me live this down are you?"

"Not a chance."

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><p><strong>Well tell me how it was please review! This chapter was really short most my chapters are around two thousand words but like I said these are just stupid ideas that pop into my head vying to be written down. This is just to fill in my dry weekends all my friends are busy so i got nothing to do! :( <strong>


	2. Chapter 2: School

**As Sweet As Honey.**

**I couldn't help but write another one hopefully this one will be ****_much_**** longer than my previous one. This one has been nagging me for ages! BTW. 1: Val's 16 in this. BTW. 2: Don't be surprised if there is more bum-bums in this story! Now I know this may seem weird but this one-shot is based on a true story; me and my friend were sitting in maths we were working (I was on my phone! :P) one of my other friend called the teacher over and OMG! The teacher bent over right in front of our desk and his BUM! Not even lying, and coz I was on my phone I quickly took a pic. I was lmfao! :P Don't judge me! **

**Disclaim: I do NOT own Skulduggery *Gets gun out.***

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><p><strong>2: School<strong>

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><p>Today -unlike every other day in haggard- the sun shone brighter and the clouds seemed fluffier than usual. Valkyrie had been looking forward to going on another mission with her boyfriend Skulduggery- Yes her and Skul were now officially dating. She had been up and rearing to go until she got a text from Skul;<p>

'Hey babe, you have to go to school today. Bye'

It was so weird that skulduggery was actually using the phone she had got him for his 427th birthday to text.

She sighed and put on her school uniform, today was gonna suck and she knew it. She caught her bus meeting a few friends on the way. Once she arrived at school, she went straight to her form room were her form tutor was doing the register.

"Stephanie?" the teacher called out.

Valkyrie lifted her hand up. "Here!"

The old crinkled woman continued to read out the register.

Once the bell had rang Val was _so_ glad. She rushed out of the room ignoring her teacher's shouts. What was her first lesson again? Oh ye science. Oh the _joy_.

Valkyrie arrived to class first and sat down at her desk. She pulled out her tattered note book and opened it to the next available page and started a list on;

_Way's to kill Skulduggery;_

_1. Brake every bone in his body._

_2. Accidently spill acid on his skull._

_3. Get a big black dog._

_Oh!_ She liked the sound of that one. The rest of the students walked in just before the bell rang, her best friend Samantha sat next to her and looked over her note book.

"Steph? Who's Skulduggery and why do you think a big back dog could kill him?" she asked curiously

Now normal Valkyrie would tell Samantha everything but magic was out of the question. She knew that Samantha would blow everything out of proportion, and start screaming. _Well I might as well tell her who it is. _

"My boyfriend, and He doesn't like dogs."

"OMG! Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend! Does he go to this school?" She asked frantically.

"Well he doesn't exactly go school."

"What is he like some badass collage drop out?" she said her brown eyes sparkling with joy. _Sparkling really Val._

"Ye-" She was cut of abruptly by the door opening. "The teachers here tell you at lunch." Valkyrie whispered. Samantha just nodded enthusiastically.

A man in his late twenties strode in dressed in a black suit with matching black shades and fedora adoring (see what I did there?!) his head. He walked up to the desk and took of his shades and hat placing them in front of him. His eyes were a sky blue and his hair black as night. Next to her she could see Samantha jumping for joy.

"OMG, OMG, and OMG!" she was whispering to herself. Valkyrie frowned.

"Hey Sam, what's wrong." She asked. Samantha scowled.

"I'm not a boy, don't call me Sam it Sami or Samantha!"

"Ok, ok Sami what's up?" she asked again.

"The teacher is so buff!"

Valkyrie looked at the teacher and realised his features except she couldn't see his eyes. _Was he sleeping? _Everyone around her was mumbling to each other's partner quietly all had confused faces. When no one was looking Valkyrie put her palm out and sent a gust of wind toward his head. He stood up abruptly.

He walked over to the black board mumbling to himself and wrote 'Mr Pleasant'

Valkyrie just stared at the back of his head. _Mr Pleasant as in Skulduggery Pleasant!_ He turned around and winked at Valkyrie. He was indeed handsome with blue eyes that could make any girl cry and hair so soft it might as well have been silk. _How was he Human!?_

"Well class my name is Mr Pleasant and if you can't say that then feel free to call me Mr P." Valkyrie frowned how old did he think they were? She put up her hand.

"Yes miss…?"

"Stephanie." She wanted to see if she could catch him out, it was obvious he wasn't meant to be here. "What are we learning about today?" She asked curiously, trying to pull a Samantha. Samantha just looked at her unpleased.

Skulduggery cursed under his breath and the whole class started going _'ohhhhhhhhhh'_.

"Ok, class today were going to be learning about…" he picked up a science text book and started flicking though the pages. "The human Skeleton ." He chuckled "Turn to page 56 please and answer questions 1 to 6." He sat down at his desk as the sound of pages being turned filled the air.

He sat back in his chair and had a look of triumph on his face. He looked pretty pleased with himself. 5 minutes had passed and Valkyrie was finding question 4 hard.

"Hey Samantha, what's the answer for question 4?" Samantha was an absolute genies, and her favourite subject just happened to be biology.

"Umm… it's called the sternum. Come on Steph that's pretty easy don't you think?" she said.

"Thanks'."

Just then a snobby sket called Jasmine put up her hand.

"Sirrrr, I need your 'elp!" she called out.

Skulduggery looked over at the blond and gave a huff. He stood up and went over to her and bent over, bum in the air. He was on Valkyrie's side. Samantha squeaked.

He was swaying from side to side while explaining to Jasmine that the skull was at the top of the skeletal frame and not in the pelvis to pose as a butt.

He was swaying his hips side to side now and Valkyrie knew he was now doing it on porpoise.

"Sami I dare you to take a pic." Val whispered to her partner pointing at Skul's backside. Samantha had finished all her work and was now playing on her phone that was under the table.

"Oh! What a good idea then I can show of too Jasmine!" Samantha lifted her phone and took a pic quickly then put her phone back under the table.

"Let's see!" Samantha showed her the picture. "Wow! That is a nice bum!"

"I know right! But it's my turn now, I dare you to slap it!" Samantha was now giggling uncontrollable as Valkyrie watched her in disbelief. When did you friend get so bold? She could get in soooo much trouble but on the other hand he was her boyfriend right?

"Kay." Now it was Samantha's turn to look at Val in disbelief.

"Okay on the count of 3. 1… 2… 3!"

_Whack!_

The sound of flesh hitting flesh echoed in the room as skulduggery stood up straight. He turned to look at her.

"Wait outside now!" he said pointing to the class door. To the other students he may have seemed harsh but Valkyrie could her the amusement in him voice.

"Yes sir."

Valkyrie waited outside until skulduggery came out. He looked at Valkyrie and sighed.

"Well that was humiliating." He said. "And very unlady-like!"

"Oh come on! You were so asking for it!"

"Hmmm maybe." He purred as he approached her backing her against the opposite side of the hall way. He rested his fore head against hers and gave her a lingering kiss. Once they parted Valkyrie asked the question that had been on her mind the whole lesson.

"Skul, how are you human?"

"Well I happened to come across a very strong necromancer who just happened to be able to turn me back into a human permanently." He said, "Oh and by the way this is how I looked before I died, am I not the most handsome man you've ever met?"

"Well that's a hard one… there was Fletcher… oh and Caelan." She teased.

"Hmm, really?" he asked his hot breath hovering over her parted lips.

"No, their don't even come close to you." I whispered against his lips with a sly smile that soon turned into a bright one as he pushed her harder against the wall resting his forehead against hers, as he brushed his soft lips over her slightly parched ones lightly then harder. They both closed their eyes enjoying the feeling of their lips against each other's. She then felt his tongue graze against her lips as her heart began to beat louder she parted her lips for him to enter.

He kissed her gently with all the love and companion he had in him. It was like nothing they had ever imagined before. His tongue gently stroked mine hers as he explored her mouth. He pulled back slowly so they could catch their breath. And then soon went back to kissing her.

Soon he pulled away, both of us panting lightly.

"You better stop before a teacher comes by and sees you snoging a student." Valkyrie laughed.

"Your right but first you need to be punished." He pealed her of the wall and turned her around and slapped her bottom. Just then a teacher came round the corner.

"Excuse me! What do you think you're doing with that poor little girl!" it was Valkyries form tutor.

"Umm... I was just telling her of for misbehaving."

"By slapping her bottom?" She asked raising a bushy eyebrow. "Sir you should know by now that you can't spank children anymore!"

"Oops my bad, Stephanie you can go back to class then we will continue this later" He said winking once the lady wasn't looking.

"Yes sir." She said smiling brightly.

"Now miss could I go back to teaching my delightful class."

The woman huffed. "Go on then."

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><p><strong>OMG! I have no ideas I had so many before! My next one I want to be truth or dare so if you have any dares of truths you want the characters to say and to whom PM me with them! And also any other ideas. Thanks and don't forget to REVIEW! <strong>


	3. Chapter 3: T or D pt1

**As Sweet As Honey.**

**Well here is the next update thank you from all you suggestions for truth or dare they were all super cool and I personally loved them! So Thanks. Skul's human. Val is 21. Their Together.**

**Disclaim: I do NOT own Skulduggery *Gets gun out.***

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><p><strong>3: Truth or Dare Pt.1<strong>

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><p>"I'm Bored… and my tummy feels funny." Valkyrie groaned out between hiccups.<p>

"Well if you hadn't crashed my car and stuffed your face with chocolate we wouldn't be in these paramedics would we?"

"Well if you hadn't let me drive and bought me chocolate I wouldn't have crashed you're car!"

"Well if-"

"Would you both just shut up?" Tanith Shouted from the bathroom, and both Val and Skul jumped up like little kid's caught stealing. "I'm trying to poo."

Awkward coughs could be heard around and then an even more awkward silence fell around them.

"Thank you."

Standing up and brushing of the imaginary lint of his suit Skul made his way to the kitchen. He cleared his throat. "Going to get some beer." Val jumped up at this.

"I don't have beer!" She defended. Skul turned to look at her pointedly raising an eye brow.

"Sure." He drawled out and continued on his walk. Ghastly turned to Valkyrie and drew his eye brows together in a silent question and she sighed.

"Don't ask." He scowled and nodded reluctantly sitting back in his seat. No one needed to know why she had beer in her fridge. The bathroom door creaked open and Tanith stepped out sighing.

"Wow now that was one-" She started but way cut off by Ghastly.

"Hon, please we don't need to know." He groaned out. Tanith shrugged and went to sit on his lap, his arms automatically wrapped themselves around her waist tightly and securely.

"I was just going to say that was one flash back." She laughed bouncing in his lap a little. How disgusting did they think she was?

Valkyrie gave her a questioning look "Really? About what?" She asked smugly trying to catch Tanith out.

Catching onto Val's trick she made her own smug face and answered sassily. "Truth or dare the year 1912, Remember that day Ghastly."

Ghastly racked his brain trying to remember but scowled when he finally remember. "No." He said stubbornly.

"Oh come on Ghastly tell Val!" She said slapping his shoulder playfully laughing. Ghastly mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?" Valkyrie asked suddenly very interested now.

"The year I lost my first kiss to skull." He said disgust painted all over his face remembering the very awkward and slightly disturbing moment in their -best friend- relationship.

"Oh come on!" They heard Skul's voice come from the door and turned to look at him, he had his skin on ready to drink, with 6 cans of beer in his hand. "You say it like you didn't enjoy it!" He exclaimed.

Val's eyes widened she had thought Ghastly was just pulling her leg. Oh my, that must have been so awkward. "I didn't like it."

"Oh sure you didn't I'm a great kisser!" He said as he sat at next to Val nuzzling her neck. "Isn't that right Val." He purred. Blushing red Val nodded slightly. "See!"

"Ye well she's you girlfriend, she obligated to say that and plus I'm a boy not a girl." Ghastly argued. Skul looked at Val.

"Is that true." Her eyes widened.

"No of course not! And he right he is a boy." She grumbled rubbing the back of her neck.

"I'm half Skelton not blind." Skul frowned his new eyebrows, he actually missed having a face.

"I'm-" Tanith seeing the beginnings of a petty argument jumped in.

"How, about we play Truth or Dare!" She suggested everyone thought for a moment.

"Sure."

"I think I'm up for kissing Ghastly again."

"WHAT!?" Everyone laughed soon the laughter died out and Ghastly was left with his usually sulky face.

Tanith spoke up jumping up from her boyfriend's lap. "Ok rules, every time you do a dare or truth you take a sip of bear-"

"Wait isn't it the other way around?"

"Shut up we have to get drunk you know!" Tanith cleared her throat. "Anyway like a said and that's it."

"That's it? No more rules?" Skull asked suspiciously.

"Nope! And seeing as we haven't got a bottle I will start!"

"Not fair."

"Hey!"

"I want to go first!"

Tanith sighed at the squabbling children in front of her. "Whatever I'm gonna go first. Anyway it was my idea." She pointed out smugly getting of her boyfriend's lap to sit on the floor then gesturing everyone to join her in a circle. "Let's get this show on the road!"

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><p><strong>Ok so obviously this took a long time to come out and is really shitty but I promise that I will have the Truths and dares in the next chapter but I only have the things for Skull and Val so I need some for Tanith and Ghastly and I could enter fletcher if you like but you got to tell me!<strong>


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